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Thursday, July 7, 2011

How Do I Use Zyban?

Answer:
Bupropion hydrochloride, also known as Zyban® must be prescribed by your doctor. Typically, the recommended dosage is one 150 mg pill once a day for the first 3 days. After that, the dosage is increased to one 150 mg pill twice a day, 8 hours apart. It's a good idea to space your pills out so that the second pill of the day is several hours before bedtime as bupropion can have a side effect of insomnia.

Never take an "extra" dose to catch up for missing a pill. Wait and take the next pill at the normally scheduled time. Most doctors suggest using bupropion for 7 to 12 weeks to achieve the best results for smoking cessation. Never stop taking this drug abruptly, or without consulting your doctor first.

See Also:
Zyban Patient Information
Zyban as a Quit Smoking Aid

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Lobelia

Definition:
Lobelia (lobelia inflata), also known as Indian tobacco, is a plant with medicinal properties that has been used historically to treat respiratory ailments such as: The alkaloid lobeline, an active ingredient in lobelia, though less potent, is similar to nicotine in its effect on the body. For this reason, lobelia has been considered a nicotine substitute and used in herbal smoking remedies, though its success in this area is dubious. In low doses, lobeline causes: bronchial dilation increased respiratory rateIn high doses, lobeline can cause: respiratory depression sweating rapid heart rate hypotension coma deathyou are pregnant you are a child you have a heart conditionLobelia can be dangerous, and its use should be administered by a qualified healthcare practitioner.

See also: Natural Remedies to Quit Smoking

Also Known As: Indian tobacco, puke weedif(zSbL

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Why Quit Smoking Young

Quit Smoking While You're Young Photo © Kerri R. When I was a smoker, I had every excuse in the book to continue to be one, but my favorite one to pull out of my hat was my youth. I would say, "My uncle Arthur smoked from the time he was 16 to the day he died at age 80. My aunt Del has been smoking since she was a teenager. Nothing is going to happen to me now, only during the BAD part of my life, the end part!"

So I continued to smoke. I LOVED to smoke. It was a huge part of my social life, my alone time, my escape. But being an active young person with a family, my limitations were becoming more and more painfully apparent. I couldn't chaperone field trips. I couldn't go to more than one store and bring my kids. I couldn't go to the movies. I couldn't race my kids down the street or even toss a Frisbee for any length of time. Not only that, my circle of friends didn't really smoke anymore, so I found myself either sneaking or just turning down evenings out for fear of being the "odd man out".

Then one day, my son heard me coming home from Happy Hour with my co-workers. I was greeted with,

"I knew you were home mom. I recognized your cough."

At 31, I had recognizable cough. A nagging and obvious cough is not a natural occurrence for a 31-year-old woman.

I did finally make the leap into freedom on January 8th, 2004. I started reading more and more into other people's stories, finding myself fixating on others who were my age. I found a library of them at whyquit.com. There is Noni, who died at 33, when her son was only months old. Her husband celebrated their child's first birthday without her. She was a victim of small cell lung cancer.

In her 30's????

Impossible.
It must have been a fluke, bad genes, just one of those things.
Unfortunately not.

Then there was the story about a 34 year old father who died of lung cancer, leaving his little boy without a father. A tough guy; a construction worker, who had smoked since he was 14, reduced to a mere shell of a man.

Yet another story is about a woman by the name of Barb Tarbox. Barb tells a tragic tale of smoking to fit in as a teenager, never thinking anything bad would happen, especially while she was young. Barb got lung cancer at 41 and was suddenly faced with having to cause enormous pain to her daughter, leaving her without a mother - watching her suffer while she died.

What drove me to write this was a chance meeting I had the other day with a 31 year old woman who shares the same name as me. Talk about spooky fate. Kery was just diagnosed with the early stages of emphysema. She HAS to quit if she is to have a chance at life. She is MY AGE! She has 3 children. Emphysema could suffocate her to death right in front of them. It's not cancer, it's another lung disease this time.

I have been one of the lucky ones. I don't know if I would have been one of the tragic stories above or if I would be blessed with a long life like my Uncle Arthur. What if I wasn't? Would I want to be the one to sit my young children down and explain to them that they were going to have to find their own way in the world because I was dying due to a poison I couldn't resist?

I quit smoking 18 months ago. I find the sheer freedom of it exhilarating. And because I quit young, I have the rest of my life to do WHATEVER I want, breathing with ease the whole time, without slavery, living my long life the way I CHOOSE, not chained to an addiction. I can run, I can swim, I can be as active or as inactive as I want. I gave myself ME back and I have my whole life to enjoy that feeling.

I still have to worry if I quit in time, but not nearly as much as I would worry if I waited another 10, 20, or 30 years to quit. The thing about this addiction is that it doesn't just lose its grip eventually. Quitting is a choice you HAVE to make. It will cling on even while you are dying of cancer. Bryan, as mentioned above, smoked up to 1 week before he died. He gave himself only one week of freedom.

We have the choice to make for ourselves. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is the only YOU you will ever get. Do you want to purposefully risk cutting it short or live a long life full of excitement, freedom and loved ones?

It CAN happen to you. You always think it's on the other side of the fence, but not this time. Cigarettes do not kill a specific group of people. No one is immune to the hazards of tobacco...not celebrities, the young or the old. Even non-smokers exposed to second hand smoke are at risk.

Love this life you've been given. Love yourself. Appreciate the fact that others love you and don't play Russian roulette with yourself.

~Kerri~

More from Kerri:
Kerri's Quit Story
5 Months and a Sock
Kerri's 6 Month Milestone
Kerri Reaches One Year Smoke Free
Kerri's 2 Year Smoke Free Milestone

Last Updated: 2-5-2006


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Cheryl's Story

But wait...they will come back...my kind of cancer always does. The pulmonary doc said I had three to four months to live without treatment. The oncologist said he might be able to buy me one or two years, but it's up to the medicine and me as to how well I do. I know he must be sick of seeing people who are dying because they chose to smoke. He's young and looks very weary for his age. I actually worry about him. The radiologist said if I kill these tumors, more will come eventually. He said he could maybe buy me a year, or even three. Limited small cell cancer is incurable and inoperable. I have a 50 percent chance of beating this round, he says with sympathy and amazement in his eyes. He sees so many patients like myself. What a sad job. His amazement is at why anyone...in this day and age...would smoke in the first place.

The base line for me is to stay well enough to endure the treatments. I must stay healthy, germ-free, and eat right, etc., for the rest of my life. Right now I can't shop. I can't be in crowds. I can't even kiss my grandbabies because of their sniffles. I have no immune system anymore, so I should wear a mask around people. It's sure funny/ironic that everything I did in life (my so called fun/bad habits) was to avoid this exact healthy lifestyle. Heck, it was no fun to be healthy and vice-free. Too dull for me. I knew I was going to live to be one hundred. Now that I am ill, I have to do all of those things I resisted or was too lazy to do in the past...if I want to stay alive and fight the cancers. Now, wouldn't life have been simpler for me to have done those things all along? DUH!

Let's see now...why was it that I preferred to smoke...as opposed to...say...live and not smoke?

I am trying to let the shame and blame go. It's very hard to forgive myself for what I am doing to my loved ones. My life now depends on me having a healthy and positive attitude. I am going to give it my best, but it's difficult at times.

I want so much to make something positive out of this horrible state I have gotten myself into. I thought maybe a story from a person who has smoking-related cancer might help someone. But how could I get my story out? And would anyone care? I'm nobody in particular. Then Terry from About.com kindly invited me here, and we decided maybe a story on this site would be seen by others trying to quit. It might make a difference in their lives to see how much harder it is to have cancer than it is to stop smoking.

Even if it's only one person who might get scared enough and quit, that's a miracle in itself. I am sharing my story for all the folks who come here to get help in order to quit smoking. I want them to hear firsthand how devastating cancer is, not only for me, but for my innocent loved ones.

...unless you are murdered or have a fatal accident. It will give you a heart attack, stroke, or cancer. It can happen; it happened to me. It happens every day. The real crime is that a drug which is that addictive is legal in the first place.

I am writing all about this cancer and how my life has completely changed in my personal journal. Actually, it's the same journal I used for my "stop smoking" journal. Now that's a wee bit ironic and morbid, don't you think? But so is death at 56.

The shrink says to tell my eight-year-old granddaughter I am ill, but not to use the word cancer. I don't have to tell her. She knows on her own. She saw me working with scarves for the day my hair will be gone (which it is now), and said, "Oh no you don't! That is not a cool look on you, grand-mom."

Remember when only the cool people smoked? I was terminally "cool."

Thanks for reading my story. I have to go take some of the 900 dollars a month's worth of medication now. It's the only way I can sleep with minimal pain.

Cheryl
The Healing World - Part two of Cheryl's Story


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Smoking Cessation Moderators

Forum ID:MICHELL15437
Nickname: Mic
Quit Date: January 13, 2002
Michelle's Quit Story

Michelle found the About.com Smoking Cessation forum a full year into her quit program. Her first online support experience was at another site run by former Guide to About.com Smoking Cessation, Christine Rowley. That site was called The No Smoke Cafe, and when it folded, Michelle joined us here. She has been with us ever since (and will be forevermore if I have anything to say about it!).

Michelle is one of those rare people who quit smoking on the first try. She used the nicotine patch, online support, and plenty of faith. Her posts are insightful, compassionate and always worth reading. She is a glass half-full kind of person whose big heart and ability to empathize are a blessing for the people of this forum.

Michelle suffers from degenerative disc disease, a painful condition that she manages with grace. Smoking is a risk for this disease, and she has written about her journey with it, along with several other essays geared toward helping others quit smoking. They can all be accessed through the link to her quit smoking story above.


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Sidestream Smoke

Sorry, I could not read the content fromt this page.

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Smoking Statistics

After the entry of foreign multinational tobacco firms into Japan, the Republic of Korea and Thailand, youth and female smoking rose significantly.

*The 37 countries and areas comprising the WHO Western Pacific Region are: American Samoa, Australia, Brunei Darussalam, Cambodia, China, Cook Islands, Fiji, French Polynesia, Guam, Hong Kong (China), Japan, Kiribati, Lao People's Democratic Republic, Macao (China), Malaysia, Marshall Islands, Federated States of Micronesia, Mongolia, Nauru, New Caledonia, New Zealand, Niue, Northern Mariana Islands, Palau, Papua New Guinea, Philippines, Pitcairn Islands, Republic of Korea, Samoa, Singapore, Solomon Islands, Tokelau, Tonga, Tuvalu, Vanuatu, Viet Nam, and Wallis and Futuna.

Source: World Health Organization - Smoking Statistics


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Don't Start Smoking

When my kids were 8 and 10, they would ask me if I would quit, and I knew I should if I did not want them to start. But I kept on smoking. Even when my son who was only eight was walking around with pens or licorice pretending to smoke, and my 10-year-old daughter was saying that she could not wait until she got older so she could smoke just like me. That did not drive it in me to quit! It was too easy to keep smoking; eventually though, everything you start must come to an end.

The addiction to cigarettes is as strong as any illegal drug. In order to quit, the person has to really want to quit. I had always heard how hard it was to quit smoking, and that scared me. I think one of the greatest lies ever told is that quitting smoking is hard to do. Quitting smoking is not what is hard - it is making the decision to quit that is hard.

I knew that if I wanted to keep breathing, I had to do something with my life. So, after having the same cold leave and come back for two months, I decided it was time to stop smoking - better to do it when I was sick. And guess what? Not smoking was not as hard as I thought it would be. There is nicotine withdrawal; it is a drug, and that is not pleasant to go through, but it was not impossible. Not that it is easy to stop once you start; it is very much not easy, and takes a lot of work and willpower to quit. I would not wish that on someone I did not like!

I would say it took about 4 or 5 months before the cravings to smoke stopped totally, and another 2 or 3 months after that before I felt totally comfortable not smoking. I still get thoughts occasionally about having one, so I would not say I am totally free of the "habit" or addiction. I don't have to struggle with myself about buying them anymore, and I can shrug off the thought of smoking, but I can never let my guard down because all it would take would be "just one" and I would be back to smoking a pack a day before a week was over. People who are addicted to illegal drugs also have to exercise that kind of caution, though I think it is easier for them to change their life style and whom they know to stay away from concerning drugs. There will always be with me a risk of a relapse though, and I know this. All it takes is one drag off a cigarette and if it does not taste good, maybe the next drag will. I say that because cigarettes are everywhere, and legal to buy. You can get them at almost any store.

There is a great deal more information available now that was not around when I started smoking. It was suggested that, over time, cigarettes could be bad for your health. Now it is loudly proclaimed how bad smoking is for you. Still, knowing all the risks involved, a great many people start smoking every year.

To avoid becoming another tobacco addict, remember, it is not just tobacco you are inhaling. Even the so-called "natural" cigarettes have additives in them. Cigarettes do not make anyone look older or cooler. They will damage your health, change your appearance, and can make it hard to breathe though.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the U.S., and the leading cause of death among smokers. Smoking is hard on the heart. It beats out deaths by drug overdose, suicide, AIDS, and accidents combined. You can say "we all have to die somehow," but you do not have to make that somehow be sooner than it needs to be.

Ellen's One Year Smoke Free Milestone


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Tar in Cigarettes

"Tar" is the term used to describe the toxic chemicals found in cigarettes. The concentration of tar in a cigarette determines its rating: High-tar cigarettes contain at least 22 milligrams (mg) of tar Medium-tar cigarettes from 15 mg to 21 mg Low-tar cigarettes 7 mg or less of tarCigarette filters were first added to cigarettes in the 1950s when it was reported that the tar in cigarettes was associated with an increased risk of lung cancer. The idea was that the filter would trap harmful tars and nicotine, but the design never worked as well as hoped. Toxins still make it through and into the smoker's lungs, exposing them to the risks of smoking-related disease.

In solid form, tar is the brown, tacky substance that is left behind on the end of the cigarette filter. It stains a smoker's teeth and fingers brown and coats everything it touches with a brownish-yellow film. Imagine that settling into the delicate pink tissue of your lungs.

Tar is present in all cigarettes and tends to increase as the cigarette is burnt down, which can mean that the last puffs on a cigarette may contain as much as twice the amount of tar as the first puffs.

Tar in cigarette smoke paralyzes the cilia in the lungs, and contributes to lung diseases such as emphysema, chronic bronchitis, and lung cancer.

See also:
Are Light Cigarettes Less of a Risk for Smokers?

Sources:

"Up In Smoke: The Truth About Tar and Nicotine Ratings" May, 2000. The U.S. Federal Trade Commission.

"A Vision for the Future." Surgeon General's Report 1981 Section 8. Centers for Disease Control.

"Low-Tar Cigarettes Do Not Cut Cancer Risk." 14 January, 2004. MIT News Office.


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10 Great Quit Smoking Stories

There is no better teacher than the voice of experience, and when it comes to quitting tobacco, members of the About.com Smoking Cessation forum have valuable insights to share. An important resource for the new quitter, their stories are full of practical tips about what works when we quit smoking and the benefits we might expect to enjoy.

If you are still smoking, the following personal accounts may help you find the motivation to start your own journey to freedom from nicotine addiction. So, settle in and do some reading -- these real life stories are sure to inspire you.

LeslyFrom Lesly:

"Three years ago I was a desperate woman. I was desperate to quit smoking -– I was desperate to smoke. I was sick to death of smoking –- I loved to smoke. I hated how I smelled –- I loved the smell of my smokes. I hated the burn holes, fears, sickness -– I loved the rituals. I hated being told I should quit -- I knew I should quit. Most of all, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I hated feeling stupid. Bottom line."

zSB(3,3)JaneFrom Jane:

"For 37 years I had one last cigarette before turning in for the night, every night. On August 5, 2006, I had one last cigarette that I hoped and prayed with all my heart would be the last cigarette of my life."

MichelleFrom Michelle:

"People invest in savings and retirement accounts and IRA's, and rightly so, but none of these will matter if a smoking-related illness claims your life before you can enjoy the benefits of your other investments. Smoking cessation is worth every minute you invest and more. The freedom that awaits you is nearly indescribable, and with each passing year, as my gratitude continues to grow, so does my hope that more and more people will decide to reclaim the lives they were meant to live."

DeeFrom Dee:

"With an almost 2-pack-a-day addiction; with a chest cold and horrible coughing that suggested that someone needed to take pity on me and make an immediate call to an ambulance service; there I was sitting on the side of the bed with a cigarette dangling from my mouth and lighter in hand trying to breath shallow little breaths so I wouldn’t cough my fool head off while lighting my first cigarette of the day. Something snapped. I took a long hard look at the cigarette and lighter and threw them across the room."

MaryFrom Mary:

"Today I'm a nonsmoker. I don't think of myself as an exsmoker, because that was a different Mary. That Mary reached for a smoke at the first sign of stress. That Mary couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without hacking up a lung. This Mary has a whole new outlook on life — a whole new life, period. This Mary is an athlete who runs five days a week and can bench press 115 pounds. This Mary can now say, I will never smoke again."

BellaFrom Bella:

"What a difference a year can make. I think back to when I rang in 2006 and I was feeling nothing less than desperation. My throat was raw day and night, my voice was weak and I was completely afraid. "You have to get a handle on this, girl," was what I thought, "or it’s over for you. There might be something wrong with you already. It’s time to make some significant changes."

LarryFrom Larry:

"One year ago today I thought I had pneumonia. It turned out to be yet another greeting by the grim reaper we nicotine addicts know intimately as "smoking-related illness." It wasn't pneumonia, only a severe case of bronchitis and undeniable worsening of the early stages of emphysema -- an inability to breathe on my own. I dreaded going to bed at night and have my wife hear me coughing, wheezing, struggling for every breath, but I was in denial. I knew what was causing my breathing problems, yet felt powerless to stop the slow, agonizing process of killing myself with cigarettes."

LeoFrom Leo:

"I recently celebrated my 2-year anniversary of quitting smoking. Well, of finally quitting. Like most smokers, I had tried to quit smoking many times and failed. But this quit attempt stuck, and I'd like to share the top 10 things that made this quit successful when the others failed."

zSB(1,2)KevinFrom Kevin:

"I hope that all smokers can one day enjoy their lungs the way they did in their smokeless childhoods. One of the ways I convinced myself to finally quit involved reminiscences of my own childhood lungs, their indefatigable prowess, how deeply I was able to breathe while rounding the bases after smashing a line drive into left/center, or the massive huffs of air I’d take every third stroke while competing in a freestyle race. My lungs, I would dream 30 years into smoking, never fought back when I was a child. And every time I dreamed of those easier times, the more I wanted those times back."

TammyFrom Tammy:

"How many times have I thought about quitting? How many times have I tried to quit? The answer is…I don’t have a clue. I really really wanted to quit smoking and I really thought that I could whenever I felt like it. I thought that it would be easy if I really wanted it bad enough. It wasn’t easy."

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Lung Cancer Treatments

Surgery may be chosen as the best course of treatment, especially if the cancer is detected in its early stages and hasn't spread to other areas of the body. There are four types of surgery used for non small cell lung cancer: Resection - This surgery removes a small part of the lung where the tumor is. The procedure is referred to as a wedge resection if a small triangular slice of tissue is taken, or a segmental resection when the tissue sample is a little larger.Sleeve Resection - A surgical procedure that removes part of the bronchus.Lobectomy - Removal of an entire lobe (section) of the lung is done with this procedure.Pneumonectomy - A pneumonectomy removes the entire lung.Surgery isn't always an option. Some tumors are inoperable, or the person may not be up to surgery for other medical reasons. Chemotherapy involves using anti-cancer drugs to kill cancer cells in the body, or to keep existing cells from dividing. Even after surgery, some cells may remain, and chemotherapy may be added to the treatment plan. Most chemotherapy is given either by injection into a vein (IV) or by catheter. A few drugs are given in pill form.Radiation Therapy treats the cancer by using high energy rays to kill cancer cells. It can be used before surgery to shrink tumors, or after surgery to kill any remaining cancer cells. Sometimes it is used in combination with chemotherapy as a primary treatment plan instead of surgery. Most radiation therapy is administered by a machine (external radiation) with the rays aimed directly at the tumor. There is another form of radiation treatment(internal radiation), in which a small capsule of radioactive material is implanted near or in the tumor.Laser Therapy uses a highly accurate pinpoint of laser light to kill cancer cells.Photodynamic Therapy (PDT) - this therapy involves using a laser. A special chemical is injected into the bloodstream. This chemical travels to cells all over the body, and is absorbed by them. In normal cells, the chemical leaves quickly, but it remains for a longer time in cancer cells. A laser is then aimed at the cancer which activates the chemical. The chemical then kills the cancer cell it is in. This therapy can be used to relieve symptoms of lung cancer, such as bleeding, or blocked airways. It's also an option for treating very small tumors which may not be suitably treated in more conventional ways.Watchful Waiting - like the name implies, this treatment involves closely monitoring the patient's condition, watching for symptoms to appear or change in nature.See Also: Information for this article obtained from NCI, which is a division of The National Institutes of Health (NIH).

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Michelle's Quit Story

On the eve of my 18-months smoke-free milestone, I am feeling nostalgic and grateful and moved to share my story.

My sister and I smoked our first cigarette when we were 10 and 11 years old respectively. I can't even remember if we inhaled, but they were Marlboro's, and they were 50 cents a pack, my entire week's allowance. After a couple of months, the guilt got to my sister, and she confessed (for both of us) to our parents, and I never picked up another cigarette until the summer of my 18th year. I smoked for only that summer, and then I didn't smoke another cigarette until I was 22 and in graduate school. WHY???????? I wish I knew why. Part of it, I'm sure, was being annoyed by the 'good girl' perception that people had of me. I got good grades, respected my parents, and didn't party a lot (a little...but not a lot). Well, one night I was at one of the few parties I attended in college, and someone offered me a cigarette. I took it and never looked back. I bought a pack the next day and began my new identity as a 'not so good girl' smoker.

When I was 12 years old, my dad, my hero, quit smoking, and once told me that if he ever saw me smoking, it would be like putting a stake through his heart. I never let him see me smoke. Since I was still in school and living at home, I was a closet smoker for the next 3 years. It was exhausting, and my parents knew I smoked anyway. When I finally became a teacher and moved out, I lived with 2 roommates, and neither of them smoked, so I smoked outside or in my car. There was a smoking lounge in the school where I taught, but I didn't want my students to know I smoked so I was careful not to let them see me. By now, hiding had become quite a theme in my existence as a smoker.

That continued as I got older, and my sister made me the proud aunt of 4 beautiful children. When I visited I would cower in a corner of the garage, listening for the opening door, so that I could put the cig out before I got caught. How ridiculous, I finally realized. I am ALWAYS hiding behind a wall of smoke, half the time not enjoying my time with family and friends because I was worried about when I'd be able to get my next fix.

By this time, I also knew that my health was being affected by my addiction. I was sleeping on 3 pillows and woke up during the night coughing. Then, when I got up in the morning, I'd hack and wheeze for about 30 minutes...all the while trying to inhale on my first cigarette of the day. I wouldn't know until after I quit smoking that my smoking had also likely caused my chronic back pain, degenerative disc disease. My family history also told me I'd better seriously think about quitting. Two grandparents and an uncle died of smoking-related illnesses, 1 also with emphysema. The more I thought about it, the more resolve I mustered to get a quit plan together.

I found a Web site called "The No Smoke Cafe" hosted by Christine Rowley. I read everything I could read about the addiction and quitting: the best ways to do it, what happens after quitting, how to maintain the quit. I saturated my brain with everything I could find, and then I read post on a message board associated with the "Cafe", and I paid close attention to what people were thinking and feeling as they began their journey to freedom from nicotine. Like many about to quit, I wanted as few surprises as possible. I knew this for sure, though...I wanted to quit more than I wanted to keep smoking, and that thought kept me company during the long road to recovery from nicotine addiction.

I chose a quit date, January 13, 2002, and I decided that I would use a NRT, the patch. I researched the NRT's too, weaning off the nicotine after smoking 2 packs a day for 14 years made the best sense to me. I submitted my first post 18 hours into my quit, and I have been smoke-free ever since. I credit my success so far in large part to Christine and her efforts to provide a place for people to support each other and for gathering so much information regarding smoking cessation. I believe that support is the #1 factor in successfully quitting smoking, and I'm grateful to all those who were there for me in the beginning.

Now, after almost a year and a half, there's nothing I enjoy more than trying to help others realize their goal of freedom from nicotine. Quitting smoking isn't easy, but almost nothing in life that's worthwhile is, and it is easier when you don't have to do it alone. Thanks to all the quitters, friends, who keep me continuously inspired. It's a remarkable journey of self-discovery and one that I have never regretted.

Michelle B. (QUITWIT)
Michelle's 1 Year Milestone
Michelle's 2 Year Milestone
Michelle's 3 Year Milestone
Michelle's 4 Year Milestone
Michelle's 5 Year Milestone
Patience With the Process
A Perspective on Using NRT's
There is No Substitute for Time
Depression When You Quit Smoking
Smoking and Degenerative Disc Disease


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Cigarette Smoking and Cancer

 Cigarette Smoking and Cancer A.D.A.M. Tobacco use, particularly cigarette smoking is the single most preventable cause of death in the United States. Cigarette smoking alone is directly responsible for approximately 30% of all cancer deaths annually in the United States(1). Cigarette smoking also contributes to lung disease, heart disease, stroke, and the development of low birth weight babies(2).Quitting smoking can significantly reduce a person's risk of developing heart disease, stroke, and diseases of the lung, and can limit adverse health effects on children.

What are the effects of cigarette smoking on cancer rates?

Cigarette smoking causes 87% of lung cancer deaths. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in both men and women(1). Smoking is also responsible for most cancers of the: larynx oral cavity esophagus bladderIn addition, it is highly associated with the development of, and deaths from, kidney, pancreatic, and cervical cancers(2,3).

Are there any health risks for nonsmokers?

The health risks caused by cigarette smoking are not limited to smokers - exposure to secondhand smoke, or environmental tobacco smoke ETS, significantly increases a nonsmoker's risk of developing lung cancer(1,2). According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC), exposure to secondhand smoke causes about 3,000 lung cancer deaths among nonsmokers and is responsible for lower respiratory tract infections in an estimated 300,000 children each year(3). The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency(EPA) released a risk assessment report in December 1992 that classified secondhand smoke as a Group A carcinogen - a category reserved for only the most dangerous cancer-causing agents(4,5).

What harmful chemicals are found in cigarette smoke?

Cigarette smoke contains about 4000 chemical agents, including over 60 substances that are known to cause cancer in humans(carcinogens)(3). In addition, many of these substances, such as carbon monoxide, tar, arsenic, and lead, are poisonous and toxic to the human body. Nicotine is a drug that is naturally present in the tobacco plant and is primarily responsible for a person's addiction to tobacco products, including cigarettes. During smoking, nicotine is absorbed quickly into the bloodstream and travels to the brain in a matter of seconds. Nicotine causes addiction to cigarettes and other tobacco products that is similar to the addiction produced by using heroin and cocaine(6).

How does exposure to tobacco smoke affect the cigarette smoker?

The risk of developing smoking-related diseases, such as lung and other cancers, heart disease, stroke, and respiratory illnesses, is related to total lifetime exposure to cigarette smoke(7). This includes: the number of cigarettes a person smokes each day the intensity of smoking(i.e., the size and frequency of puffs) the age at which smoking began the number of years a person has smoked the smoker's exposure to secondhand smoke.

How would quitting smoking affect the risk of developing cancer and other diseases?

Smokers who quit live longer than those who continue to smoke. In addition, the earlier smokers quit, the greater the health benefit(1). Quitting smoking reduces a person's risk of dying from smoking-related cancers and other diseases(1). The extent to which this risk is reduced depends on: the number of years a person smoked the number of cigarettes smoked per day the age at which smoking began the presence or absence of illness at the time of quittingResearch has shown that people who quit before age 35 reduce their risk of developing a tobacco-related disease by 90 percent(1). Even smokers who quit before age 50 significantly reduce their risk of dying from a tobacco-related disease(1).

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Chery'ls Story Part Two

From you Guide to About.com Smoking Cessation, Terry Martin: I had the honor of meeting Cheryl in December of 2003, shortly after she'd been diagnosed with stage IV small cell lung cancer. It was her wish to do whatever she possibly could to help people quit smoking, so she wrote this article, along with another detailing her thoughts and life after diagnosis called Cheryl's Story of Courage and Caring. I think she accomplished her goal many times over. Her stories have been read by thousands of people all over the world, and many have found the inspiration they needed to stop smoking for good after reading what she had to share.

We all lost a very courageous and loving woman when Cheryl succumbed to her cancer on June 30, 2005. Please read her story, and take her words to heart. What happened to Cheryl could happen to anyone. Smoking is a deadly habit, and it will kill you, given the chance. It has nothing of value to offer you. Nothing.

I came to live here after I was diagnosed with limited small cell lung cancer and squamous cell 3rd stage B cancer on November 19, 2003.

Now, I wasn't aware of this place, nor did I realize I had already become a participating resident for about three weeks. Every time I heard a statistic, or the time, date of this or that, I closed off my hearing and speech. I let my family do the hearing for me as we traveled back and forth to doctors and meetings for days on end. It took me a bit of traveling blindly to get here, but finally the wheels came to a stop. The cigarette smoke and the clouds of denial and confusion finally lifted before my eyes, dry from radiation. I wanted to see the truth. I was raw and weary from the trip, but I was finally ready to learn what I needed to do in order to survive. I was ready to be in control of this particular cycle of my life.

I watched and observed others in my condition. The experienced ones in the treatment rooms helped me along the way. They were kind and honest. Slowly, slowly, layer by layer, my old life's needs, wants and priorities were being stripped away. Those layers were useless to me now. One day I looked in the mirror, and what I saw was me, being as open and honest as I had ever been in my life. In reality, I was bald and ill, but in my mind's eye I was beautiful and my spirit soared. One side of my being wanted to Go! Live and love for all the days that were left!

That side said, "Be greedy and don't look ahead."

The other side of me said, "Get out there. Fight! Know thine enemy, cancer. Pay attention. This one is for the BIG test!"

Ok! I get it! I am here 100 percent. Cheryl is here for her new class on Life 101.

I am up and at 'em at 4am in order to get to the big city by 7:30 a.m. I grab my meds, coffee, my nic gum, my crystals, my ACA book, and Bernie Siegal, M.D.'s book, Love, Medicine and Miracles, and head for the car. I ride through my beloved, foggy morning bayous to get to the hospital. By the time I get to the second floor of the hospital, the nurses are turning on the blinking, popping florescent lights at their stations, thereby erasing all of the darkness of yesterday. For one tiny second, we are all the same. Just people beginning their work day. Not patients, not nurses, just people. But it's just for a tiny second.As I walk into the chemo treatment room, I first look around to see who isn't there. I make a mental note to ask the nurse or others about the missing person later. Then, and only then, will I focus on the faces who are there. I find a splendid beauty in every single face I behold on these days. I think I am finally getting it. Only God could have created man. I see humanity and caring shining through the pain and fear when I see these people helping each other.

Healing Comes in Many Forms... - page 2 of The Healing World


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Just One Cigarette

When we quit smoking, most of us go through a fair amount of junkie thinking - the internal battle between our addiction and ourselves. Early on in smoking cessation, the dialogue can seem relentless. It's often persistent, annoying and exhausting. It is however, temporary, and the less attention you give to unhealthy thoughts of smoking, the better.

Thoughts of smoking just one cigarette have been the ruin of many good quitting efforts. It's important for you to realize ahead of time that these mental contortions are a normal part of the recovery process. A little preparation will keep you in the driver's seat when your mind starts to wander and smoking seems like a good option. Sometimes, distracting yourself for as little as 5 minutes is enough to snap you out of faulty thinking and get you moving forward with a better mindset.

Such is smoking cessation, and such is life. On those days when simple distractions don't work and you're feeling agitated and unhappy, have a game plan that you can turn to at a moment’s notice. You can start by making a list entitled: Put things on the list that you might reserve for those times when you need an extra boost: Take a long walk in nature, and bring the dog!Give yourself an hour to soak in a long hot bathHead to the gym for a workout and a swimSplurge on a hot fudge sundae with all the fixingsWhatever the treat, make it self-indulgent and guilt-free. You're working hard to free yourself from a tough addiction, and a little positive reinforcement goes a long way. If all else fails, put yourself on ignore and go to bed a little earlier than usual. Tomorrow will be a better day. As they say, cigarettes travel in packs. The only way to keep the beast at bay is to keep nicotine out of your system. If you decide to go ahead and smoke just one, chances are you'll be back to your old habit in short order. You may even find yourself smoking more than you used to.

There is no such thing as just one cigarette.

If you absolutely cannot get thoughts of smoking out of your mind and you fear you're about to cave in and smoke, stop everything. Grab some paper and a pen, sit down, and answer the questions below with honesty and as much detail as you can muster. How long have I been smoke-free?How long do I think it should take to be free of this habit?If I go back to smoking, will I want to quit again?How long will it be before I do? Weeks...months...years? When illness strikes? Will quitting be any easier next time around?What benefits will smoking give me?Is it worth giving up what I've worked so hard to do?Some of these questions are hard to think about, but the fact is, people who return to smoking run the risk of not quitting again for years or before a smoking related illness strikes. Keep your memory green and don't lose sight of the reasons you quit smoking. They are no less true today than they were when you quit, but if you're not careful, they can feel less critical.

Be patient with yourself and allow the healing process to take place, regardless of how long it takes. Nurture and protect your quit program because it's the path to a healthier and happier you.


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Angela's 6 Month Milestone

Smoking cessation is a gradual process of release from nicotine addiction, and for most of us, this process brings about a change in the relationship we have to smoking.

For smoking cessation forum member Angela (Forum ID: awonspirit), this change of heart is poignantly described in the poem she wrote to celebrate 6 months smoke-free. The blinders are off and the smokescreen has lifted.

Congratulations, Angela!

© Angela Moten

When I think of a cigarette,
I think of the four thousand chemicals
that would rush into my mouth and
burn their way into my once healthy lungs.
I think about that nasty taste, that nasty
ring of polluted air I would create in the
space around my body. I think of the
looks of disgust given by those close by.
I think of those who politely stepped
away from me, and those who not so
politely stepped away.

When I think of a cigarette,
I think of the forty seven years
I spent enslaved to its beck and call.
I think of the lies I told myself to ensure
it’s hold on me. How I convinced myself
that it’s treacherous act was fulfilling some
need, some longing that mysteriously
never went away. I think of the twenty
times each day I held the delusion
that it was making me feel better,
and thought I was sane in the process.

When I think of a cigarette,
I think of the lengths I would go to
to get one - Late night solitary walks
to liquor stores in dangerous neighborhoods,
taking money from the children’s piggy banks,
writing checks on an account with no funds.
I think of how I convinced myself I was normal
and not a “real” junkie. How I lied to myself
constantly. I shudder at the thought. But things
are better now. I am free. I looked the demon
in his face, and saw him for the liar that he is.

When I think of a cigarette,
I no longer lust its poisonous pinion,
my senses have returned (and improved).
I smile at the recognition that I am a winner.
My sanity has returned. I am strong. I
have garnered the lessons this addiction offered.
I have unveiled the truth – I am neither
victim nor fool. In the wake of a once
destructive force, I stand victorious -
captain at the helm – punch my fists up in the air.
Rejoice in my new found freedom.


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Chantix Side Effects

I'm afraid to use Chantix because of all of the negative news I've been reading about Chantix side effects. Can you tell me what the side effects of Chantix are and whether Chantix is dangerous for me to use to quit smoking?Answer: Chantix is a smoking cessation medication. In the years since its been on the market, a number of serious concerns about Chantix side effects that involve changes in mood and behavior have surfaced. Typical Chantix side effects include: nausea vomiting constipation gas disruptions in dream patternsPeople who report this set of symptoms often feel that the advantages outweigh the discomforts associated with Chantix. Chantix works by altering brain chemistry, and as such, carries a set of risk factors that involve changes in mood and behavior.

If you have been diagnosed with depression or any other mental health condition, it is very important to carefully review, with the help of your doctor, whether Chantix is a good fit for you.

Safety information from the Chantix Website: Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using CHANTIX to help them quit smoking. Some people had these symptoms when they began taking CHANTIX, and others developed them after several weeks of treatment or after stopping CHANTIX. If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away. Also tell your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems before taking CHANTIX, as these symptoms may worsen while taking CHANTIX.In May of 2008, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) banned pilots and air traffic controllers from using this drug while on the job:

FAA Bans Chantix for Pilots and Controllers

On July 1, 2009, the FDA mandated that the manufacturers of Chantix, Zyban and Wellbutrin carry a new Boxed Warning on product labels that inform health care providers and the public of the potential risks associated with the use of these drugs. Zyban (bupropion hydrochloride) is a non-nicotine prescription quit aid similar to Chantix. Wellbutrin is bupropion that is marketed as an anti-depressant.

The FDA issued a public health advisory as well: People who are taking Chantix or Zyban and experience any serious and unusual changes in mood or behavior or who feel like hurting themselves or someone else should stop taking the medicine and call their healthcare professional right away. Friends or family members who notice these changes in behavior in someone who is taking Chantix or Zyban for smoking cessation should tell the person their concerns and recommend that he or she stop taking the drug and call a health care professional right away.FDA Public Health Advisory Released for Zyban and Chantix

On June 16, 2011, the FDA issued a public health advisory about a possible increase in the risk of certain cardiovascular events for people with pre-existing heart disease using Chantix.

FDA: Chantix May Increase Risk of Cardiovascular Events

In light of the potentially serious side effects of Chantix, one might ask whether this form of drug therapy is appropriate for anyone to use.

Both Chantix and Zyban are in a class of quit aids that alter brain chemistry, and that has the potential to cause serious side effects for some people. They are not one-size-fits-all quit aids.

That said, the fact that Chantix and Zyban are still on the market speaks to the good that these quit aids are doing. With a person dying a tobacco-related death every 8 seconds somewhere in the world, day in and day out, 365 days a year, we can safely say that tobacco use is the grand-daddy of all risks that smokers should be concerned with.

Tobacco is a vicious killer in sheep's clothing, and is directly responsible for upwards of 5 million deaths worldwide each year. If current trends continue unchanged, estimates put death by tobacco at one billion this century.

If you happen to be in the group of people who should not use Chantix or Zyban, there are many other products available to help you quit smoking. The absolute best quit aid, and one that is a mandatory ingredient for long term success with smoking cessation is your determination to quit smoking. With it, any quit aid of your choosing will work. Without it, none will. Follow the links below to build the strong resolve that will help you put smoking in your past, permanently.

Resources to Help You Quit Smoking:

Your Quit Smoking Toolbox
The quit smoking toolbox gives you links to information and the support necessary to build a solid quit smoking program for yourself.

Quit Smoking 101 - A Free Email Course
This free newsletter e-mail course, which you'll receive daily for 10 days in your mailbox, aims to provide you with a solid foundation for quitting tobacco successfully.

Online Smoking Cessation Support Forum
Join our very active smoking cessation support community. Support from those who know what you’re going through is invaluable. You may visit as a guest and browse, or register (free) to join the discussions and post messages of your own.

You can quit smoking. Believe in yourself and the sky is the limit.

Sources:
Public Health Advisory: FDA Requires New Boxed Warnings for the Smoking Cessation Drugs Chantix and Zyban. 01 July, 2009. U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Chantix Prescription Information. July, 2009. Pfizer Labs.

Chantix Side Effects and Important Safety Information. 01 July, 2009. Chantix.com.


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My Darling...

Written by an About.com Smoking Cessation Forum member, this "letter" is a poignant goodbye to nicotine addiction.

My Darling,

How can I express what you've meant to me these many years? The bond we've shared has been stronger than any other in my life. You were always there for me when I was alone.

When I was scared, you gave me strength.

When I was happy, you shared my joys.

When I was angry, you fueled my fire with your own.

When I was hungry you "nourished" me and kept me slim.

When I turned my back on you, you waited patiently, knowing I would return.

You never judged me or held a grudge. You welcomed me back with open arms. You were practically my lover - we knew each other so intimately. You invaded every pore of me. Just the smell of you can set my heart pounding. The feel of you in my hand, so smooth and firm, makes my blood boil even now. God, I want you so badly. You and I have been together through so very much.

How can I tell you I have to go? I'll just do it... This is "Goodbye." I love you and I always will, but this is killing me. It's not healthy and I'm beginning to see that now. I have changed, grown, but you have stayed the same. We've been going in different directions for awhile, and I just haven't been able to admit it to myself. Now I can.

You're giving me wrinkles on my face. You take my money. You make my breath smell bad and my teeth yellow. None of my friends like you and look what you've done to my mother-in-law and grandfather! I won't be your victim any longer.

I've actually hidden from my friends when I was sneaking around with you. I can't take you anywhere in public without you embarrassing me. I can't count the number of times I have told my children to wait so I could go see you. You are not more important than my children. I am so angry at myself for putting your first. You had such a hold on me. Even when I was sick, you called me, and I came without question. I feel like I"m losing myself to you. We've always been together. Is there a "me" without you? Surely there is. I bet she's someone you wouldn't recognize. You always thought I was weak and I'd be back, but I'm not weak anymore. I'm discovering how strong I really am. I can go and not look back, except on those lonely, rainy nights when the kids are in bed, and I drag out those old pictures of us together. I'm sure you know I'll miss you. It's not like these last 14 years have meant nothing to me. But my future means more. I have to do what's right for me now.

Letting you go hurts more than I can describe. I lay here at night thinking of you and missing you so badly. Every time something makes me angry I just want to go to you. I actually have a physical pain in my chest and my throat tightens when I think of you. I know if I just run to you, you'll take me back and make the pain go away, but only temporarily. You always want more of me, and loving you has become a vicious, self-destructive cycle.

I know that the pain I feel right now will heal and hopefully so will the other scars you've left on my heart and lungs. I pray it's not too late for me to give my body a fresh start. This pain will not kill me and that which does not kill me only makes me stronger.

Don't wait for me this time.

I know you'll find others to take my place; younger, more naive women to seduce. I may be tempted from time to time, but you can bet I won't be back.

Goodbye.


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Definition Cigarette Tar

Tar in Cigarettes and Cigarette Smoke Photo © Stockxpert

Definition:
The term used to describe the toxic chemicals found in cigarettes. The concentration of tar in a cigarette determines its rating: High-tar cigarettes contain at least 22 milligrams (mg) of tar Medium-tar cigarettes from 15 mg to 21 mg Low-tar cigarettes 7 mg or less of tarSee also: Tar in Cigarettes if(zSbL

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Oral Cancer Personal Story

Surgery and Beyond Throat Anatomy courtesy of A.D.A.M.

I left his office in a trance. I drove home in a trance, almost wrecking the car a couple of times. My only thought was, "No, no, no, way are they going to cut my throat open, and no way are they going to turn me into a freak."

I got home and called my children and told them what the doctor had said. I also told them I'd decided not to have the surgery. They naturally had a fit and said, "Yes, you are!" I informed them it was my life and my decision.

My oldest son and his wife drove 500 miles to my home to talk me into having the surgery. My daughter-in-law started crying and said, "Mom, I can't believe you don't want to see your future grandchildren."Well, I think that's what did it, because after I thought about it, I couldn't sleep that night. I realized how selfish I was. I knew I was not ready to leave this world without seeing my grand babies. My greatest wish was to be a grandma. I decided to go back and talk to the doctor. The kids went with me, and on December 24, 1996 (Christmas Eve), I had a complete laryngectomy. Nice Christmas present wasn't it?

When I woke up in intensive care, the first thing I recall is seeing my youngest son holding my hand with his head resting on the bed rail, crying so hard he was sobbing. I naturally opened my mouth to console him but nothing came out. I felt so helpless. I wanted so badly to assure him everything was going to be okay, and I couldn't say a word. My voice was gone. Forever.

That must have been a horrible sight, seeing your mother lying there with her throat cut nearly ear to ear.

All because of tobacco addiction.

After I got out of the hospital, I had home nurses and a speech therapist come to my home to help me. I didn't know anything about the laryngectomy I had just had or about being a laryngectomee. This was all new to me. The first thing was to learn how to care for myself. There was the feeding tube, hooked up through my nose, and learning to clean the trachea site (hole in my neck). One day I was fine, the next I'd cry all day. I was on an emotional roller coaster. I had a speech therapist who came to my home to teach me how to talk with an instrument called an electro-larynx. She took it out of the box, put the battery in it, and showed me how to use it. She told me to sit in front of a mirror and practice until I could be understood. As soon as she left, I took the battery out, packed it back in the box and said to myself, "I'm not about to use that silly-sounding thing to talk. I wouldn't be caught dead talking with that thing."Still suffering in silence, all because of tobacco addiction.

We set up a tapping signal on the telephone so I could answer questions and call for help if I needed to. One tap was "no," two taps meant "yes," etc. My daughter and granddaughter called me from out of state, and they would ask questions and talk and I would tap. When we got ready to hang up, I started crying. I tapped 1-2-3 and my daughter said "I love you too, Mom." I'll never forget how devastated I felt that I couldn't even tell my kids I love them. All because of tobacco addiction.

After I got off the phone, I opened the box, put the battery back in and started to practice. As soon as I thought my kids would be able to understand me, I called them all and told them I loved them, and they all understood me. To this day, I hate using talking with that device. I'd much rather have my old voice back, but it is gone forever...all because of tobacco addiction.

Then came 33 radiation treatments--as if the cut throat, feeding tubes, medications, and silly-sounding speaking devices weren't enough. Getting through all the radiation treatments was a real test of strength for me. More than once I sat in my car after a treatment and cried before I could put the key in the ignition and start the car (I prayed a lot too). But my children constantly reassured me that I could make it. How I did, I don't know, but I did. I have adjusted for the most part to my new way of life. Every day I think about it; it never leaves your mind. I am so lucky because I'm alive. A lot of people -- approximately 50 an hour -- are dying because of tobacco addiction. Speaking of being lucky, in 1999, we were invited by the American Lung Association to represent them at the Second Wind Lung Transplant Convention in St. Louis. I talked to people who were in wheelchairs with oxygen tanks strapped to their backs and tubes running up their noses. They were some of the nicest people I've ever met. I talked at length about their problems, my problems, etc.

I learned that most of them had smoked, and most of them were on a waiting list for a lung transplant. Well I'm ashamed to admit that up until this point I had felt sorry for myself. I came home from that convention a much more thankful person and life means so much more to me now. I'm alive, and my name is not on a waiting list for life!

I am sure my story is pretty close to, if not exactly like, many others before and after me. That's why it's important that we educate as many children as we can about the dangers and terrible consequences of tobacco.

If you are a child and you are reading my story, please stop and really think about what you are doing to harm yourself before you use a tobacco product, because I really do care about you.

Marlene Today: An Update


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Leslyr's Quit Story

 Leslyr's Quit Smoking Story Lesly R.

The first time I tried to quit smoking seriously was in March of 1979!

I paid big bucks and joined Smokenders. I remember our teacher gave us a test to determine how addicted we were. Everyone put their hands up, and if the situation did not apply to you, you would put your hand down. The questions were ones like: have you ever violated a "No Smoking" sign?, or, Have you ever gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to smoke?, or , Is smoking the first thing you do in the morning? By the end of the test, there were three people in the room with their hands still raised. Two guys in the back who looked like they were eighty and homeless, and, you guessed it, ME! The teacher didn't seem too concerned about this, but it confirmed my deepest and darkest beliefs:

No one in life was more addicted than I was.

That quit ended about four months later when I started cutting the filters off my husband's Carlton cigarettes, and hiding in the bathroom, blowing smoke out the window. Ha - I sure fooled everyone!

Over the years, I tried many ways to quit. I repeated Smokenders, and then tried Smoke Stoppers. I told myself when they made NRT's non-prescription, then I would quit. Well, that day and year(s) came and went and I still smoked. My little daughter would leave notes all over the house:

"Please don't smoke - I will choke coff coff" with sad pictures. I actually saved these.

My kids got older - my son became a State champion in tennis; my daughter was a State champion soloist in synchronized swimming. Both of these sports require a lot of oxygen and stamina. Here is what I did to help them: I drove them to meets in a car filled with cigarette smoke, and made certain to smoke in every room of the house. I missed some of the highlights of their competitions, as I got so nervous, I was always racing outside to smoke!!

Finally, I tried the gum. This worked until one day I got so fed up with the process, I decided I needed a little reward. So...I went to the store, bought a pack, lit up one, and threw the entire pack out of the car window. About three hours later, I was back at that spot, madly searching for that beautiful pack I threw out.

One of my best friend's husband is a doctor. He supplied me with free patches that sat in my drawer until they expired and I threw them out. By this time, I could no longer sleep through the night, as I was coughing all the time. I coughed so hard I don't know how anyone slept.

Then the unthinkable happened...

My ex-husband, father of my two children, and his wife both were diagnosed with lung cancer. My children's world fell apart. School and activities were put on hold as they cared for the two of them. My daughter would call me, sobbing about how her father moaned in his sleep like a wounded animal, he was in so much pain. He went down hill so fast. 5 months after the diagnosis, my daughter was changing his diapers, and 6 months after the diagnosis, he was dead. His wife died 7 months later.


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Quit Smoking Coping Skills

5. Reward Yourself!
Every single day you complete smoke free early on is a VICTORY, plain and simple. You may not think so, but every day you put between you and that last cigarette you smoked is working to strengthen your resolve. Little by little, you’re teaching yourself how to live without cigarettes. Honor that effort daily for the first month or so and pamper yourself! Don’t wait for others to pat you on the back - do it for yourself. Your rewards don’t need to be elaborate. Something simple like time alone to relax with a good book, or a hot bath at the end of the day can go a long way toward helping you feel good about the work you’re putting into smoking cessation. If you can choose rewards that also help you release tension, all the better.

6. If You Want to Change Your Life, Change Your Mind.
It has been said that the average person has approximately 60,000 thoughts a day. Our minds are constantly active, and you’d be surprised at how many of the things we think are negative thoughts directed at ourselves. And most of us repeat those self-defeating thoughts over and over and over again. Give yourself a break and get out of the rut! Begin to pay attention to what you’re thinking. Replace thoughts of I can’t with statements of I can and I am. Plant seeds using your thoughts of the outcome you want. Give yourself positive cues. For example, you may think:

"I feel miserable without my cigarettes! I'll never stop missing them."

That is NOT a thought that will help you achieve success with quitting smoking. As soon as you are aware of it, take action to mentally modify the negative thought. Say to yourself instead something like this:

"I know that the discomforts I'm feeling are signs that my body is recovering from the addiction to nicotine. I also know it won't last forever, and that much better days are ahead, once I'm free."

The life you want begins with your thoughts. Don't buy into negative, self-defeating thinking - you're capable of so much more! Train your mind to help you. If you want to change your life, change your mind. Change what smoking means to you and you will find your freedom. Read Commit to Quit! Developing the Will to Quit Smoking for more on how to condition your mind to help you get the results you want most in life.

7. Use Patience and Time as Quit Buddies..
People who quit smoking want to have all of the discomforts associated with recovery from nicotine addiction to be over with quickly. It’s understandable, but not realistic. Recovery from this habit that held us hostage for so long takes time, and the more you can relax and use time to your advantage, the better you’ll do. Be patient with yourself and understand that you’re going through a healing process that is very personal. How long it takes you to put smoking behind you shouldn’t be compared with anyone else. Trust in the process and give yourself the time you need to heal. Get up every day determined not to smoke and be grateful and proud of every smoke free day you complete. Time will take you further and further away from the familiarity of smoking, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
~Thoreau~


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Quitter's Flu

 Quitter's Flu Stockxpert Definition: Quitter's flu is a slang term used to describe the flu-like symptoms that nicotine withdrawal can sometimes produce.

Symptoms of nicotine withdrawal can include: Cravings to smoke Irritability, crankiness Insomnia Fatigue Inability to concentrate Headache Cough Sore throat Constipation, gas, stomach pain Dry mouth Sore tongue and/or gums Postnasal drip Tightness in the chestAlso known as smoker's flu, quitter's flu is not a real sickness; it refers only to physical sensations we experience while detoxing from nicotine and the chemicals in tobacco that can mimic illness.

See also: All About Nicotine Withdrawal

if(zSbL

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How Zyban Works

Answer:
Originally, bupropion hydrochloride, also known as Zyban® was created to treat depression. Smokers who used it for this purpose often found themselves quitting smoking without having planned to do so.

While it isn't understood exactly how bupropion works, we do know that this prescription-strength medicine alters the brain's chemistry. The result is a reduced interest in smoking. Nicotine cravings are diminished, and often people find it easy to quit because smoking loses its appeal.

In 1997, the FDA approved the use of bupropion for smoking cessation. Today, bupropion hydrochloride under the brand names of Wellbutrin® SR and Wellbutrin® XL are used to treat depression, while Zyban® is prescribed for smoking cessation. When used in conjunction with a nicotine replacement therapy (NRT), such as the nicotine patch, nicotine gum, nicotine inhaler, or nicotine lozenges, the odds of success increase.

See Also:
Can I Use NRT's with Zyban?
Zyban Patient Information
Zyban as a Quit Smoking Aid


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Ambergris Tincture

Definition:
Ambergris Tincture - FDA GRAS; FEMA GRAS

More commonly referred to as whale vomit, ambergris is one of the hundreds of possible additives used in cigarettes. Ambergris is a fatty, waxy substance that forms in the intestines of the sperm whale. Lumps of ambergris often have the hard beaks of squid and cuttlefish buried within, so it's suspected that it acts as a vehicle for the expulsion of undigestible bits of what these whales eat.

Fresh ambergris is foul smelling and floats on the ocean surface, but with years of exposure to the elements, it takes on a sweet, pleasant smell. Ambergris has become prized in perfume manufacturing because it has the unique ability to "fix" a fragrance, keeping it from fading too fast. It's also used as a food additive.

Used in: non-alcoholic beverages ice cream candyAmbergris Image

Source:

Ambergris 12 October 2006. Dept of the Environment and Water Resources, Australian Government


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Kristy's List of Reasons


1. I can taste things again.

2. I smell great.

3. My chest doesn't hurt.

4. My family is proud of me and respects me for this.

5. My little brother Kevin is rooting for me. On day seven, I almost broke down and actually sort of cried and said "I do not think I will make it, Kev.", but he was so encouraging and helpful. He told me, "We can go to Yahoo and play games all evening, I be that will help." And that's exactly what we did. We played games all evening and I did not smoke. He wants me to do this and by God, I'm doing it. Also, little sis (Kassidy) tried smoking, and I think it's because she thought it was okay cause of me. I'm NOT showing her that it's okay anymore. I want her to know what it did to me and how it has hurt me so much. I don't want her to go through what I've gone through here.

6. There are other wonderful things to do right now other than kill myself with smoke in my lungs, for example, write all evening long about things that are more important to me, listen to music, or maybe pet my cats or read a good book)(or any book).

7. I can go anywhere I want without having to wonder if my stupid cigarettes are with me, and if they aren't OMG I LOST MY CIGARETTES I'LL DIE OH NO OH NO. No more of that stupid crap now, I'm free again.

8. Despite having smoked a good length of time (10 years), I am still more qualified to be a non-smoker. I have a solid 18 years of experience at being a non-smoker and while I haven't held the occupation in awhile, I'm beginning to remember how nice this job was in comparison to the 10 year hellish nightmare of smoking. Plus, I actually feel younger now. This might be weird, but hey, it's a luxury to go back in time if you're going back to something great, and being a non-smoker WAS.

9. I feel like I'm truly accomplishing something here. It's a terrific lesson in self-control and self-love. I'm having fun learning it despite the temporary suffering.

10. I made it through hell week and I've almost made it through heck week. I am not going through THAT ever ever again, so I have one choice: Have fun today instead of smoke :) I think I will.

~Kristy~
(Blah28)
Kristy's Quit Story


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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Weight Control Tips






Statistics tell us that most people who quit smoking gain some weight initially. On average, that gain is between 4 to 10 pounds. And for a lot of folks, it is temporary and falls back off within the first year of smoking cessation.

Learn how smoking affects metabolism, and create a plan of action to minimize potential weight gain before you quit smoking. A little preparation can go a long way toward helping you avoid the need to invest in a larger wardrobe to fit your new, nonsmoking self.

Don't overload yourself with too many expectations. Smoking cessation, while far from impossible, is hard work for most of us early on. Starting a new diet at the same time you quit smoking can be a recipe for disaster. Aim instead to maintain your current weight while you manage nicotine withdrawal and the months beyond it. Once you're comfortable with your smoke-free status, you can turn your attention to shedding extra weight you're carrying. If you've only gained the typical 4 to 10 pounds, the task won't be too daunting. For many ex-smokers, food takes on a new importance that can quickly become an unhealthy obsession if we're not careful.

Why?

In part, it has to do with needing a replacement for the act of smoking. Smokers have a powerful hand-to-mouth association and eating is a hand-to-mouth activity. But also, food simply tastes better without cigarette tar clogging delicate taste buds on our tongues. It's not uncommon for ex-smokers to note that food tastes entirely different than it did when they smoked.

And then there is the fact that food signals comfort for many of us. A lot of people, smokers or not, use food to soothe and pacify. For those of us who are dealing with the discomforts of nicotine withdrawal, it's natural to turn to food to ease raw nerves and emotions.

While we cannot stop eating like we have stopped smoking, we can make choices that will help us avoid weight gain and even enhance how we feel physically. A diet rich in nutrients helps us be at our physical and emotional best, which, in turn makes it easier to maintain the strong will and determination that is necessary to successfully recover from nicotine addiction.

Use the tips below to help you start thinking creatively about how to use food as a tool for good health rather than a replacement for smoking. Pay attention to portions.
Downsize serving sizes: Use a lunch-size plate rather than a dinner plate, and stop after one plate full.Read labels.
Aim for foods low in fat and high in protein and fiber. And speaking of portion sizes, be sure to check packaged food labels for portion sizes as well.Keep temptation out of the house.
If it's not there, you can't eat it. Stock the fridge and cupboards with healthy food choices so that when the urge to snack strikes, the right foods are within easy reach.Indulge your sweet tooth at a restaurant.
Don't allow a half-gallon of ice cream shelf space in your freezer. Instead, head out to the ice cream parlor when you're in the mood for a sundae. Doing this safeguards against going back for another scoop, or worse, another bowl later on.Drink plenty of water.
If you have the urge to snack, drink a glass of water first. It will help fill you up. So you will eat less, and also beat cravings to smoke.Think 80/20.
If 80% of the meals and snacks you eat on a given day are healthy and in the right portions, you can allow yourself a few treats with the other 20% without throwing your diet out of whack.Eat more often.
Try eating 5 or 6 small meals throughout your day. The urge to snack is intense early on in cessation, so snack-size meals may suit your needs perfectly. And the good news is, small meals every few hours could give your metabolism a boost. Just watch your calories and keep the total for the day within the correct range for your body.Go for a walk.
Exercise will help you avoid weight gain. As little a half hour walk a day can be enough to help you keep your weight stable, as long as you're eating well too. And exercise improves mood too, a nice fringe benefit.Distract yourself.
Boredom is a big trigger for smoking and for eating. Make an abrupt change in what you're doing and you can distract yourself away from mindless snacking.Find some support.
The smoking cessation forum here at About.com is a supportive community of people who are working to quit smoking. Stop in and browse the message board of this active group as a guest, or register (free) and join the discussion.Early smoking cessation is an awkward, uncomfortable state for most of us. Add weight gain into the equation and we're ripe for a bad case of junkie thinking. Don't be tempted to return to smoking as a means to control your weight. Take it from one who knows. I lost a 6-month quit once because I was convinced smoking would help me lose weight. Wrong! When it was all said and done, I still had to diet to lose the weight I'd gained during smoking cessation, plus I needed to quit smoking again because I was back to a pack-a-day habit.

Dig your heels in and focus on losing your addiction to nicotine first and the weight second. Once you're comfortable in your nonsmoking skin, you'll be better equipped to apply your time and energy toward losing weight successfully. And speaking of success, there is absolutely nothing better for a person's self-confidence and ability to tackle challenges effectively than succeeding at smoking cessation.

Do what you need to do to boot this addiction out of your life now. If that means you gain a few pounds in the process, so be it. Weight can always be lost later, but your precious health cannot.

Source:

Forever Free -- Smoking and Weight. 2000. H. Lee Moffit Cancer Center and Research Institute at the University of South Florida.

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Journaling

A quit journal is a powerful tool that can help you reinforce your resolve to stop smoking. Consider making the first entry in your journal a list of the reasons you have to quit smoking. From the largest, most obvious reasons to the smallest, each and every one counts. Carry a copy of your list with you so that you can add to it as additional reasons come to mind. Think about the pros and cons of smoking as you compose your list, and refer to it when you're feeling tempted to smoke. When I quit smoking, I made a short entry in my journal at the end of every day. I jotted down a few notes about how I felt and made sure to acknowledge my gratitude for completing the day smoke-free.

When I struggled with cravings to smoke, I was able to quickly gain perspective by looking back through those journal entries. It allowed me to see just how much progress I'd made since quitting and helped me shift my attitude from negative to positive.

Your quit journal will help you lay the foundation for successful smoking cessation. Use it to get your thoughts moving in the right direction. Once you do that, making good choices and taking appropriate actions will come more easily.


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Respiratory Disease Statistics

Respiratory disease is an all too common side effect of smoking. The occasional smoker's cough is often the first signal of trouble in the lungs. Chronic bronchitis usually follows, and if left unchecked, the end result can be emphysema. Cigarette smoke is toxic, and hard on the lungs. In 2001, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) was the fourth leading cause of death in the United States, resulting in more than 118,000 deaths. More than 90% of these deaths were attributed to smoking. According to the American Cancer Society's second Cancer Prevention Study, female smokers were nearly 13 times as likely to die from COPD as women who had never smoked. Male smokers were nearly 12 times as likely to die from COPD as men who had never smoked. About 10 million people in the United States have been diagnosed with COPD, which includes chronic bronchitis and emphysema. COPD is consistently among the top 10 most common chronic health conditions. Smoking is related to chronic coughing and wheezing among adults. Smoking damages airways and alveoli of the lung, eventually leading to COPD. Smokers are more likely than nonsmokers to have upper and lower respiratory tract infections, perhaps because smoking suppresses immune function. In general, smokers' lung function declines faster than that of nonsmokers.U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The Health Consequences of Smoking: A Report of the Surgeon General. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2004 if(zSbL

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Paratracheal Lymph Nodes

 Paratracheal Lymph Nodes Lymphatic System / Lymph Node

A.D.A.M. Definition: Paratracheal lymph nodes run along the sides of the trachea (windpipe) in the neck.if(zSbL

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Nicotine Withdrawal Tips

--"Drink plenty of water. Water is one of nature's best quit aids and will help you beat back cravings to smoke; keep you well-hydrated, which in turn keeps you at your best to deal with the discomforts of the first few weeks; control snacking, and flush the toxins from cigarettes our of your body more quickly." --Terry

--"I stayed home and avoided all smokers for the first week. Climbing the walls was necessary, but I did manage it. Sipping on ice water and deep breathing kept me sane." --Char

--"Chewing on spicy things like cinnamon candies and whole cloves helped a lot."--Jules

--"I always had a box of Good and Plenty candies in my shirt pocket. It really helped to have something in that pocket when I automatically reached for a smoke. The taste of black licorice seemed to be a large help with the taste thing." --Deputy Dave

--"I armed myself with sugar-free bubble gum, mints and candy at all times, and did not drink alcohol." --grammie2rylee

--"I do not fight the cravings and urges to smoke, because it only makes me more tense. I try to accept, if not welcome them as a natural part of my addiction recovery. I let them wash over me, take deep breaths and just ride them out." --Carol C.

--Snack on sunflower seeds in the shell. Messy, but they will keep you busy and satisfied when craving a smoke." --Terry

--"Take hot baths and showers. It wasn't possible to crave smoking in the shower, for some reason." --Nyniane

--"I cut my coffee intake to one, sometimes two cups per day. If I started grabbing for food, I sucked on sugarless candy or ate an apple." --Williegenny

--"If I'm craving a smoke, I climb a flight of stairs, jump and down or just get up and move somewhere else for a few minutes." --Sept192007

--"Sing! The physical act of singing works great as a crave-buster. It gives the lungs a workout, gets the blood flowing, and kills the urge to smoke in the process. Pick you favorite, motivating music, and as an added bonus, it improves your mood too!" --LtHousLady

--"My suggestion is string cheese. Yeah you know, it looks like a tube in a plastic wrap but it's cheese. You pull on it in tiny pieces and it comes off like string. It can easily take up 20 to 25 minutes of your crave time if you want it to. It keeps your fingers busy and it's challenging to see just how small of a string you can pull off. If you like cheese, give it a try." --punkn'head

--"The thing that helps me a lot is popsicles!" --Nayls

--"Something that really helped me with cravings to smoke were hot /spicy dill pickles." --Shenna2

--"Change your routines. For instance, take a different route to work. Have your morning coffee and meals in a different room than you usually do." --Chris

--"I had to break old routines that involved smoking. Instead of talking on the phone and smoking, I would clean the house. Of course, after every chore, I would think I'd earned a smoke, which lead me to more cleaning! From there I got into scrapbooking and all sorts of crafts. You have to stay busy with things that aren't your normal routine early on."--Tammy

--"I recognized, after the initial physical withdrawal from nicotine, that I was breaking a habit. So I thought about how I could replace that habit with something healthy. For instance, I use to smoke on my porch. I started taking herbal tea to the porch, and before long I didn't feel comfortable going out there without my tea. I had replaced that habit!" --Kimmie1213

--"I look past the desire for a cigarette to the bigger meaning. The only thing smoking a cigarette would accomplish (besides making me feel bad) was to make me want another cigarette. Even if it satisfied me, how long would that satisfaction last? How long before I'd want another one?" --Nyniane

--"Go places where you cannot smoke. Movies were the best for me because I couldn't smoke for hours at a time. The movie distracted me and the snack bar was full of crave busting goodies." --Charlie777222

--"Think H.A.L.T. when you find yourself craving a smoke. Nine times out of ten, the urge from a cigarette originates from one of these four things: H -- Hunger A -- Anger L -- Lonely (boredom falls into this category as well) T -- TiredWhen you learn to identify the source of your discomfort, you can react with a better choice than smoking. If you're tired - rest, hungry, eat, etc." --Terry

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Hookah

Also known as narghile, argileh, shisha, hubble-bubble, shisha or goza, a hookah is a water pipe that is used to smoke flavored and sweetened tobacco. The hookah pipe houses separate chambers for the tobacco and water, and has one or more flexible tubing stems from which consumers inhale the tobacco smoke.

Hookah tobacco is often flavored with molasses, fruit pulp or honey and has had additional flavor added, such as coconut, fruit flavors, mint or coffee. Flavorings sweeten the taste and aroma of hookah tobacco, making it more appealing to young people, especially.

Hookah pipes have been in use for about 400 years, originating in India and Asia. In the early 1600s, Hakim Abdul Fath, a physician from India invented the hookah, believing the health hazards of tobacco smoke would be minimized by passing it through water before inhalation.

In the 1990s, flavored tobacco became popular in the Eastern Mediterranean countries, and hookah use grew out of that, spreading around the world.

Today, hookah is a popular pastime for young people in the United States, with hookah lounges popping up in big cities and around college campuses across the country.

Hookah tobacco is addictive and every bit as hazardous to a smoker's health as traditional cigarettes. Additionally, a one-hour session of hookah smoking exposes smokers to as much nicotine and toxins as they would get from a day or more of cigarette smoking.

In the short term, hookah smoking raises blood pressure and heart rate, which may increase the risk for heart attack and stroke.

In the long term, hookah smoking may contribute to a variety of cancers, heart disease and lung disease.

Protect your precious health and steer clear of hookah! There is no such thing as safe tobacco, and hookah use is no exception.


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Definition of Emphysema

Definition:
Emphysema is a severe form of COPD, in which the tiny air sacs (alveoli) in the lungs become permanently damaged. Normal, healthy lungs look like upside down branches of a tree with many thousands of these tiny air sacs at the ends of those branches. Lungs with emphysema have fewer, larger air sacs.

While environmental pollution can cause emphysema, cigarette smoking is by far the most common cause. The chemicals in cigarette smoke are thought to damage the delicate, interconnecting walls of tiny alveoli, breaking them down in to large air sacs that are less efficient at processing the exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide that allows us to breathe properly.

The effects of emphysema are permanent and irreversible. However, if a person stops smoking soon enough, they may be able to arrest further damage and improve their lung function to some extent.

See Also:

"All About Emphysema"
Emphysema Photo Gallery
"Living with Emphysema" - Christine's Story


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Jane's One Year Milestone

For 37 years I had one last cigarette before turning in for the night, every night. On August 5, 2006, I had one last cigarette that I hoped and prayed with all my heart would be the last cigarette of my life.

What would tomorrow be like? What would I feel like? What would I do with my hands? Today, looking back over the past year, this is what I see.

I was sitting at my dear friend's funeral, which I reflected on in my six month milestone. He died from complications of lung cancer. It was a very sad day.

I was grateful I had quit smoking.

I was in sunny California. The past two months I had been flaky, sleepless, forgetful; a little mad and a little sad. At one point my husband asked me if I should really be driving a car! I had also been busy reading and learning all I could about smoking cessation. I changed routines that held triggers, and I was trying my hardest to practice positive thinking until it would come naturally. Basically, I was making quitting tobacco my job!

I think it took the first two months for what was in my head to get to my heart. I walked and walked and breathed in the beautiful air. I began to notice I could smell and taste again. My hair and skin looked better...everything was improving. The best change I noticed was that I was beginning to feel "free" and I was loving it. I felt like Mary Tyler Moore when she throws her hat in the air.

I was grateful I had quit smoking.

My friend May came to Nashville to visit her daughters. When she arrived, she was sick with what we thought was a chest cold. In a matter of days, she had seen the doctors, had a diagnosis and was getting ready for the fight of her life...she had lung cancer.

I sat with May and her daughters after their initial grueling day at the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center. I listened as they told me that the worst part of the whole day was not being poked and prodded; it was not having to hurry up and wait to see doctor after doctor; it was not setting up the chemo and radiation. The worst thing of all was having to answer the question, "Did you smoke and for how long" over and over again at each stop. Her daughters told me it was excruciating to have to hear their mom say the words, "Yes, I smoked for 35 years"...and listen as she was forced to repeat the words, many times over, that described why, more likely than not, she was facing this life threatening illness.

I was grateful I had quit smoking.

I was looking forward to Christmas, my first smoke-free holiday in 37 years. WOW, what would that be like? My ickie threes had come a little late and were definitely making their presence known. I was busy shopping, planning, cooking, wrapping, 'Tis the Season, Oh the Joy! The old me would have rewarded myself with a cigarette after each task; it was a favorite time. Smoke, sit back, look at what I had done and think about what I was going to do. Well, I couldn't do that anymore.

I think the stress, the fatigue of overdoing, and the sheer physical and mental exhaustion of dealing with my quit exploded on Christmas Day! We were going to my mother's house, which was about an hour away. I wanted to drive myself in my own car. At this point I was not fit for human consumption and I wanted to be alone. Once in the car and driving down I-24, I had this thought: I could smoke and nobody would know. I pulled off the exit and there I sat in the Mapco parking lot digging through my purse looking for money.

All of a sudden, the nonsmoking slogans ran through my brain; the information in red ran thru my brain. Forum member Betty Blossom's soothing words and beautiful face ran through my brain; my fellow August ash kickers and the morning nope pledge ran through my head. I began to cry. I am crying now thinking about what I believe was a defining moment in my quit.

I was grateful I had quit smoking.

...were pretty uneventful. I was beginning to realize that the joy might just be in this journey. I was quitting smoking, but I was also growing as a person. I was calmer, more confident, and stronger. I was even beginning to appreciate the hard times of my quit. I recognized that after each "learning period," I was rewarded with a growth spurt and more feelings of true peace.

I was grateful I had quit smoking.


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Cyndie's Quit Smoking Story

Happy New Year 2003. It was a quiet Christmas, my first one ever without my family, the first time I ever put up my own tree, my first as a married woman, my last without children, and my last as a smoker. Little do I know it, but by the end of this cold January, I will be growing a precious miracle; I will not discover this for awhile longer.

Early February I am getting ready for a night on the town. I have washed my favorite jeans and tank top and have my hair and nails all sexed up. My jeans feel tight; this will depress me for most of the night. For some reason I am not in the party mood anyway. The beer tastes like bog water, and I wind up heading home early. This is a strange month, everything is off. My favorite foods are less than desirable, I am sleeping particularly good (did I mention I am a diagnosed insomniac?), I am gaining weight, I am moody....I become suspicious.

Saturday, February 28th, I wake at 10am and tip toe to the bathroom and dig out "The Test" and do the deed. I proceed to the kitchen to make my tea and then smoke a few cigarettes waiting for the result. I couldn't be. I am 27 years old, I am a newlywed, I haven't taken my honeymoon. We weren't trying. The doctor said it would take longer than this. I just bought a brand new computer system with kick a$$ party speakers. I have no room for a crib. I don't even like babies. I've never changed a diaper...5 minutes have passed.

I crush out my cigarette and make my way back to the bathroom...think calm thoughts...there it is, sitting on the sink staring back at me. 2 LINES!!! I sat down on the toilet and just flipped the stick over and over in my hand...well now...this does change my summer plans doesn't it? I was cool and collected, numb and very white! I wake my husband (of 5 months) and say, "look in the bathroom"...he says, "Oh, so we're going to have a baby, huh?" I fall apart.

We go to the doctor and he offers the text book CONGRATULATIONS. Then he bombards me with 1001 questions. "Was this planned?" NO. "Will you be keeping this child?" Ummmmmm YES. "Do you know who the father is?" HELLO??? "First pregnancy?" YUP. "Do you smoke?"...silence...bows head...YES!! He sits back in his chair and looks at me. "Well, you'll need to quit TODAY!" Oh yeah, sure, today, of course, make it sound a little easier. We went home and Paul says while smoking a cigarette, "you have to quit!" I agree and light one up.

A week and a half go by and I cut back significantly to about 10 a day. A grand accomplishment for me but not enough I understood. I was more embarrassed than ever to be a smoker now but of course I kept on smoking.

On Thursday, March 12th, 2003, I got up for work at 10am, and before I lit my morning cigarette, I went to use the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, I am in emergency and the doctors and nurses are thick as thieves and Paul is sitting there holding his head. I felt like I was hit by another car. I felt no physical pain, but my heart was twisting and aching, and dear God, there are no words for that day. I am 7 weeks pregnant, and I am losing my baby.

When I went to bed last night, I was wondering if I was ready to be a parent. Pondering if this was really what I wanted. Suddenly, in that moment in the hospital bed, I realized it was too late to choose. I am already a mother. I cried so hard that I lost my breath and Paul stood by me silent and still, and rubbed my hair back over and over again. One nurse said " Sweetie, there will be other babies"...Other? I wanted THIS one. I began, trying to make deals with the big man upstairs. Dear God, I will be a better person. I will curb my temper. I will be more patient. I will stop swearing. I WILL STOP SMOKING FOR AS LONG AS I CARRY THIS CHILD...please don't take my baby.


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